OUR BIGGEST FEARS
So let's talk about our greatest fears. Some of us are scared of bugs, insects, creepy crawlies, clowns, wild animals etc. Hell, some of us are scared of mosquitoes. But I'm not talking about what we're afraid of, I'm talking about what scares us. What we are truly terrified of. Things that when we think about then they chill us to the bone. It doesn't have to have happened to us, it could be something we know has happened to other people but we would never want to happen to us cause we get scared and jittery just thinking about it.
Most times we refuse to admit our greatest fears because it might make them seem real, or we don't really want people to know what chills us, or maybe we just don't know what our biggest fear is. So most times when people ask, "What is your biggest fear?", we tend to give surface answers like material or physical things.
There was a time if you asked me the question,
But I think we should know that a lot of the time when you really search yourself, your greatest fear is not something you're afraid of happening to you, it's a feeling you don't want to experience. Like the way the greatest fear of some people is, "I'm scared of my parents dying". Yeah, they're afraid of that happening because they're probably afraid of the feeling of loneliness they would experience if their parents are not there for them.
As at last year if I was asked the question, I would've said, "I'm scared of being alone" because I saw people who didn't have any friends as lonely. And I didn't want to feel lonely. At all. And although the words "lonely" and "alone" are used interchangeably, let's be honest. Yh, sometimes you could have people around you and still feel alone, but if you have people in your life, even at the moments when you feel so down, there's always someone who can take away that feeling of loneliness.
But recently, I was going through some issues in my life and while talking to my best friend about them, it hit me. I'm scared of being hurt. Dumb as it may sound, I feel it's cause I've seen in the movies I've watched, or the books I've read(trust me, I've read a lot of books).
Because when people get traumatised by something, or get hurt by someone; most of the time they're never the same person they were before. Take rape for example, people who get traumatised by rape either get annoyed at the world, get scared of going to unknown places, or become extremely overprotective of whoever they love. My point is, they either get therapy, or they get a mirror personality of themselves.
Let's take people who get betrayed by someone they loved with all their heart. They either never trust anyone again(if they do, it takes a long time), they close themselves from the world(and become nerds, goths or emos), or they get anger issues and get riled up at every little thing, or they pull away when anyone gets too close to them since they're suspicious.
Either way, I don't want to lose myself because I was hurt by someone I really trusted, or lose the light in my eyes because of something that happened to me, or become unnecessarily angry at the world and suspicious of everyone just because of one thing that happened to me. I guess it's cause one of my friends always tells me how she feels I'm really soft and full of love but I like to enclose my heart from the world and she has told me so many times I actually believe it. So if I'm so full of love I don't want to lose it all because of a particular occurrence or someone.
But hey, I also don't want to be that person who protects their heart so much that they don't reciprocate the love they receive. So now that I've found out my greatest fear, I think I'm ready to put out a leg, or two; and trust someone with my heart. After all, if anything happens, I can count on my friends to help me recover. I'm too strong to be broken anyway.
Notice that I said my "present" fear, cause right now though I think being hurt is the worst thing that could happen to me right now, there might be worse things that could happen. Next month I could discover something else that scares the shit out of me, or I'll discover it next year, or in the next five years. Who knows? I could even find out nothing scares me.
So the next time someone asks you the question, don't stress it really. You might be unstoppable!!!! You don't have to know what scares you; I mean, we have so many other issues to deal with in our lives, that our fears are the least of our problems anyways, and if it's a mosquito that makes you shiver, so be it.
Till my next post- Tracie
Sorry for not posting for a long time.
Most times we refuse to admit our greatest fears because it might make them seem real, or we don't really want people to know what chills us, or maybe we just don't know what our biggest fear is. So most times when people ask, "What is your biggest fear?", we tend to give surface answers like material or physical things.
There was a time if you asked me the question,
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
I'd probably say, "I'm afraid of getting fat" or "I'm afraid to get yams"(you know the growth boys have behind their legs; okay for boys but for girls, not so good) not 'cause I was scared to look deep into myself or anything but I just didn't think there was anything more scary than that at that time.But I think we should know that a lot of the time when you really search yourself, your greatest fear is not something you're afraid of happening to you, it's a feeling you don't want to experience. Like the way the greatest fear of some people is, "I'm scared of my parents dying". Yeah, they're afraid of that happening because they're probably afraid of the feeling of loneliness they would experience if their parents are not there for them.
As at last year if I was asked the question, I would've said, "I'm scared of being alone" because I saw people who didn't have any friends as lonely. And I didn't want to feel lonely. At all. And although the words "lonely" and "alone" are used interchangeably, let's be honest. Yh, sometimes you could have people around you and still feel alone, but if you have people in your life, even at the moments when you feel so down, there's always someone who can take away that feeling of loneliness.
But recently, I was going through some issues in my life and while talking to my best friend about them, it hit me. I'm scared of being hurt. Dumb as it may sound, I feel it's cause I've seen in the movies I've watched, or the books I've read(trust me, I've read a lot of books).
Because when people get traumatised by something, or get hurt by someone; most of the time they're never the same person they were before. Take rape for example, people who get traumatised by rape either get annoyed at the world, get scared of going to unknown places, or become extremely overprotective of whoever they love. My point is, they either get therapy, or they get a mirror personality of themselves.
Let's take people who get betrayed by someone they loved with all their heart. They either never trust anyone again(if they do, it takes a long time), they close themselves from the world(and become nerds, goths or emos), or they get anger issues and get riled up at every little thing, or they pull away when anyone gets too close to them since they're suspicious.
Either way, I don't want to lose myself because I was hurt by someone I really trusted, or lose the light in my eyes because of something that happened to me, or become unnecessarily angry at the world and suspicious of everyone just because of one thing that happened to me. I guess it's cause one of my friends always tells me how she feels I'm really soft and full of love but I like to enclose my heart from the world and she has told me so many times I actually believe it. So if I'm so full of love I don't want to lose it all because of a particular occurrence or someone.
But hey, I also don't want to be that person who protects their heart so much that they don't reciprocate the love they receive. So now that I've found out my greatest fear, I think I'm ready to put out a leg, or two; and trust someone with my heart. After all, if anything happens, I can count on my friends to help me recover. I'm too strong to be broken anyway.
Notice that I said my "present" fear, cause right now though I think being hurt is the worst thing that could happen to me right now, there might be worse things that could happen. Next month I could discover something else that scares the shit out of me, or I'll discover it next year, or in the next five years. Who knows? I could even find out nothing scares me.
So the next time someone asks you the question, don't stress it really. You might be unstoppable!!!! You don't have to know what scares you; I mean, we have so many other issues to deal with in our lives, that our fears are the least of our problems anyways, and if it's a mosquito that makes you shiver, so be it.
Till my next post- Tracie
Sorry for not posting for a long time.
Well put
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